Mommy met daddy's in-laws before she became his wife

Carl Jung is said to have first explained the concept of Synchronicity. His belief was that, just as events may be connected by causality, they may also be connected by meaning. Events connected by meaning need not have an explanation in terms of causality. This principal gave credence to Jung's work in archetypes and the collective unconscious. I have written previously about my beliefs not only in archetypes but in the concept of the sacred contract which in itself lends itself to agreement with the collective unconscious paradigm.

My father was a Romanian immigrant who left his country during the war. He and his family moved to Israel but he didn't stay there for very long. After spending time in Europe he ended up in South Africa where he met and married a young lady named Pearl. He was 32, she was 22. "Hang on," I hear you say, "your mom's name is Joan?"

Yup.

Pearl suffered from a condition called lupus or systemic lupus erythematosus, an autoimmune disease where your immune system mistakenly attacks healthy tissue. Pearl was told that she should never give birth due to the increased risks associated with pregnancy. I believe that she miscarried a few times but I'm not sure this fact is true. What I know is that she and my dad wanted a baby, and they found a doctor that agreed to help her get to term. Something happened in her 7th month and Pearl was rushed to hospital. The baby died that night, and Pearl lay in ICU for two days before she too passed away. Her death was apparently due to complications from the surgery. She was 30 years old.

My mother studied Radiography after school and in 1971 she was 25 years old. One night she was called to the hospital where she worked to take X-rays of a patient undergoing emergency surgery. The patient was in critical condition and going into renal failure. My mom remembers offering the elderly couple sitting outside a cup of tea.

Two years later my mom met my dad on a blind date. I know you know where this is going. She was the girl taking the X-Ray; the couple she offered tea were his in-laws. He was the guy soon to become a widower.

And I was born not many months later. 

 

I read a great blog a few months ago by Tim Lawrence in which he says:

 

"Let me be crystal clear: if you've faced a tragedy and someone tells you in any way, shape or form that your tragedy was meant to be, that it happened for a reason, that it will make you a better person, or that taking responsibility for it will fix it, you have every right to remove them from your life.

Grief is brutally painful. Grief does not only occur when someone dies. When relationships fall apart, you grieve. When opportunities are shattered, you grieve. When dreams die, you grieve. When illnesses wreck you, you grieve.

So I’m going to repeat a few words I’ve uttered countless times; words so powerful and honest they tear at the hubris of every jackass who participates in the debasing of the grieving:

Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried."
 
I have friends that look for the lesson in every aspect of life. They constantly strive for meaning for reasons I cannot understand. But I do not understand it because it is not something I need; and they do. Sometimes things happen, that's it.

What resonates with me in the words above is the statement that things in life cannot be fixed, they only be carried. Of this I am certain. It allows you the acceptance of that which you cannot control.

If I am anything, I am that because of the things I carry.

I don't know if things happen for a reason or not. But this does not mean that things aren't connected. And this is where I think Synchronicity comes in to play. Maybe what Synchronicity means is that things don't necessarily happen for a reason (causality) but they are connected (have meaning). 

 

The events that connected my mom and dad before they even met gave them a story. Gave me a third Grandparent in my Grandpa David. Gave my dad hope. Gave my mom love. Gave me life.

In Memory of Pearl Touba Reiter (Ford) 1941 - 1971

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