Indulge me for a moment.

In December 2019 a man with a machete barged into the home of a Jewish Rabbi in New York and attacked, resulting in serious injuries and the subsequent death of the Rabbi three months later. A friend of mine asked on Facebook today where the outrage was when this racist, bigoted anti-Semitic attack happened? This is one of a million examples that could be cited; a sad truth but fact, nevertheless. There is little doubt in my mind that anyone reading this has come across a multitude of similar thoughts and opinions. This is #alllivesmatter.

There is no reason why there should not be outrage and anger at the senseless killing or abuse of any person be it at the hands of a policeman, a desperate man or a mass shooter. People ask why crime and violence continues all over the world, in warzones and in wealthy neighborhoods without the resulting rioting and looting and social media outrage. I’ve heard that in a few weeks this will have blown over and we will return to social media selfies and celebrity obsessing. I hope that this is not true. I hope that this is just the start. If this is what you need to do to be heard, then keep on keeping on. Right now, we are focused on one people and their plight but not at the expense of others and this is what I think is being missed. #alllivesmatter but #blacklivesmatter more right now. Go find the analogy of the house burning and it should click.

In 2016 Black Lives Matter halted the Toronto Pride Parade and would not let them move until the Pride Committee signed a declaration that Police in uniform would no longer be welcome to the parade activities. There was a lot of support and there was outrage. I was one of the outraged because I felt at the time that this was continuing a policy of exclusivity rather than moving towards inclusivity. I bet some people would have accused BLM of being racist or bigoted. Is it possible that you can be for something but not against its opposite?

Nothing would have probably happened if George Floyd’s live murder was not filmed. Nothing would have probably happened if Christian Cooper didn’t film Amy Cooper’s vile rant. Just because we do not see something doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened.  

My friend Lawrence coins it perfectly. Be good, people.

How about we just stop doing things that require a movement start?

P.S. I am quite aware that things are not that simple…

Stepping up #blackouttuesday

I am struggling to make sense of everything that is going on right now. I have opinions. I have discussions with friends and colleagues and sometimes even with strangers. I generally stay away from political, social or any hard debate on social media because it’s a scary rabbit hole. This does not mean that I am not horrified at some of the content I see, that I don’t question things that my Facebook friends post or comment on, that I don’t wonder how people I love and admire can think so differently to me; assuming that how I think is the right way. But I stay silent. The resounding message I am hearing now is that if you are silent, you are complicit.

For the first time in my life I am keenly aware of the colour of my skin. And I know that saying this is a ridiculous example of my privilege and my white fragility. Yet I don’t know what to do because I am overwhelmed. What should I say? What must I do? What can I not? I loved Dr. Seuss as a child, I still do. But I need to throw that out because it’s perceived as racist. I have been asked to count the number of black friends in my life and expected to answer with an appropriate number or explain why it is not so.

I was horrified when Doug Ford, a member the Conservative Party, was elected Premier. I voiced my support and indignation when he collapsed the Council and withdrew funding from services like those used to support autism. I waxed lyrical about his revenge on Toronto for how Rob was treated (who I really liked, by the way). Yet, in my opinion, he has stepped up. He has managed Ontario through this pandemic with confidence and assurance and has not been afraid to single out businesses that take advantage. I don’t support everything he says or does any more than I do of Trudeau, and I don’t say that everything is fixed, but he stepped up.

I cannot say a single good word about Trump. He has never stepped up. America is burning and Trump was the magnesium that sparked the flame.

I am racist. I am the epitome of white privilege. I feel like I do not have the right to give my opinion because I have never walked a single step in the shoes of an abused woman or a murdered black man. But if I don’t speak up then I am as bad as those that oppress.

I grew up in apartheid and lived through post-apartheid South Africa. I grew up, looked after by people that cleaned my house and ironed my clothes who for a long time had a curfew. But I also had a European father that insisted they ate at the dinner table with us. I was slightly different but not really and the first black friend I had was at University.

I am a Jew that grew up in a town significantly dominated by a radical Neo-Nazi-type group called the Afrikaanerweerstandsbewegin (AWB) and once had a swastika painted on my school bag. I am gay and once got bashed while cruising a park at 2 am. I’ve lost more friends to crime and suicide than I care to count. I lived oppression. Yet, I can’t say that I ever felt bullied, I didn’t feel profiled, I was never made to feel “less than” and I wanted for nothing.   

I can assure you that Racism is taught because I lived it. I can also assure you we can do better. We can deconstruct those images and thoughts in our mind, but we must listen and then we must act. A huge part of my ability to deconstruct my racism is because of Canada, I am better for living in this country and for the people that educate me every single day.

Tell me. How can I step up?