Regardless of where you go, the following always happens:
1. The two best chairs have towels or magazines on them all day long but nobody actually shows up to use them.
2. There is always someone with a better body than yours.
3. There is always someone who should not be wearing a bathing suit (swimming costume) in public.
4. There will always be a poser; he has a great upper body and stick legs. He doesn't sit down preferring to stand and flex, and walk around the pool all day. He also looks like a giraffe from straining his neck.
5. Pool activities happen too close to you; including kicking, laughing, loud singing and motivation from resort staff. No, I don't want to watch the pool fashion show.
6. If at an all inclusive the cocktails always have way too much sugar. Don't drink them.
7. It is never too early for that cocktail.
8. Despite all best efforts with sunscreen you will always miss a spot, and it will usually be the backs of your knees or the tops of your feet.
9. You will be hungry all the time. Eat.
10. You will do nothing all day and be exhausted by 6pm. Sleep.
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