A letter to Christina via Hamlet

Dear Hamlet, please read this note to your mom as soon as you wake up tomorrow (I'll make it short because I know you have a busy day). Tell her that this has nothing to do with her birthday, because we decided not to celebrate them any more. This is just a hello message from a friend who wanted to say something and it just so happens to coincide with her birthday.

Dear Christina,

Despite my ragged park clothes you agreed to come over for dinner; you let me into the inner circle. You noticed when I lost Jessie and walked up to me one day with a card. I was barely a stranger but it's a testament to the kind person that you are. You are thoughtful and generous. I can never adequately explain how much it means to me that you have opened your home to me as if it were my own. 

It really is not possible for me to tell you in words how much your friendship means to me. If I have reciprocated a third of what you have given me, then I am happy. 

Thank you for always being there, for knowing when to ask if I am OK, for giving without any expectation and for making me laugh so much that it hurts. 400 what?

I leave you with these important words: "Nothing makes a woman feel more like a girl than a man who sounds like a boy"

Happy Birthday 

With all my love,

La

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To Gabi. A Birthday Tribute.

Gabs, I bet you thought I had forgotten your birthday. I didn't, I was looking for these........

It's been a long time that we've been friends. and while we don't connect much because of distance I have the best memories of the times we spent together. I remember the meals at your home, the peppers you made on the stove and I still tell the story of you putting on lipstick in the ER with your back out because the doctor was so hot. 

You are one of the most genuine, kind people I know. You are beautiful inside and out. You have weathered so much and come so far. I admire and love you, even from a distance. 

Happy Birthday........sent with love and a touch of lipstick. 

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To Nicki. A Birthday Tribute.

"The Faktors are coming back", they said. It was all anyone could talk about. 

I think the year was 1989 (could've been (probably was) 1988) and I was still relatively new to Carmel High School in Pretoria but most of my new friends had lived there all their life, and this very exciting creature and her family were returning to South Africa from Israel. We were all very excited. I wasn't quite sure why.

She returned and almost immediately re-integrated into the class as if she had always been there. I was more than intrigued. I was in love. A few months later I would be chasing her in the dark at Lapalala Wilderness Camp. 

It is absolutely impossible to write down all the memories I have of a friendship that has now spanned almost 30 years. When you move or emigrate, you make new friends. I did it when we moved from Pietersburg to Pretoria and again when I left South Africa for Canada. You lose touch with the ones that have known you, and who you know. It takes time to build new friendships. I am blessed because I have friends in Canada that I have known for maybe 3 or 4 years, who are worth 30 to me. I am thankful that somewhere in the world, are people that have experienced every part of my life alongside me.

Nicki and I never lost touch, but we drifted as we moved through new relationships, different countries, careers, boyfriends (me) and marriage/children (her). In 2014 I happened to be in San Francisco and we met up. I wrote about that here. It was a profoundly soul-satisfying day. 

Something happened that day that fused our re-connection that has been tethered ever since. 

A book arrives in the mail. A hand-written letter is sent. Hugs appear in my inbox exactly when I need them. Impromptu weekend visits occur. Long (and often funny) voice-mails are recorded. She is West. I am East. 

Thank you for loving me like you do. Thank you for millions of thoughts and memories and for the deep down inside feeling that I feel when I think of you. 

Happy Birthday Nix. To 30 more.

 42.78

To Violet. A Birthday Tribute.

You almost ruined our friendship with your mom and dad. When we found out they were having you we seriously thought about un-friending them. We were having none of it. But we hung around for a while and watched her belly grow and then one day your mom asked us if we wanted to go for lunch at a new place on the corner of Parliament and Carlton. The conversation (over lunch) went like this:

Lawrence to Mima: "Why are you making that face?"
Mima to Lawrence: "I'm a little nauseated"
Keith to Mima: "You aren't eating much"
Mima to the table: "I'm in labour"

And a bunch of hours later you arrived.

I have to admit you haven't ruined our lives as much as I thought you may. You're cute, very friendly and you like to hang out at the HOP where we drink caesars. There really is no better feeling than having you snuggle in our arms, no funnier moment than each time you decide to poo on Keith, the look on your face when you see yourself in the mirror, your chucky-moments when you don't realise the camera is looking.

Unfortunately your mom and dad have done it again and find themselves harboring a womb-fugitive that may escape any day now. This time they've gone too far. We may need to reconsider their friendship. You, however, can stay.

Happy First Birthday little Goose. The world is a better place with you in it. 

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To Andrew. A Birthday Tribute.

In continuation of my current year of birthday tributes, here's wishing Andrew the very happiest of birthdays, a fat kiss and a bit of dust.

The history of our friendship can actually be found in Stephan's post here but it wouldn't be fair to not add to it. Whenever I arrived at 18OC it was Andrew that greeted me at the door, hand outstretched to take my bag and soon after putting a drink in my hand or licorice and sour gums at my side. And when it was time to say goodbye he would always walk me to my car and wave in the rear view mirror as I drove off.

Andrew is a passionate guy, hes committed to what he does, dedicated to his family and friends and that has made him the successful person that he is today. He loves flying and planes and we have a shared appreciation for the (one and only) Concord.

I hope your birthday is filled with love and brings a year of health, happiness, and a visit to Toronto......where I'll be waiting with wine and food, a hug and a bit of dust.

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To Thean. A Birthday Tribute.

I got a phone call from a friend who said that a friend of his had just moved to Toronto and asked if I would reach out. First I stalked his Facebook profile. Then I sent him a message. We met at a restaurant downtown for dinner and we realized that we actually did know each other from South Africa. We worked out at the same gym, though never spoke and he had apparently spent a night at our house, but not with me or Keith......

Thean is a happy guy. Often he messages me about something that he is excited about, be it a new car or a technological invention or a funky pizza place. He has a constant level of enthusiasm that amazes me. He's a glass half full. 

Because we both work from home, and he's always been close by, he has always been available for a coffee break and a quick stroll around the block with the dogs. Tyson, my Boxer, adores him and leaps up to say hi when Thean approaches from the West. 

I long gave up my partying days but every few months he convinces me to get out and get down. On those nights we dance, and scream, and throw back the polar bear shots and stumble home at some ungodly hour. On others we take in a midnight movie and stop for pita on the way home because they boys behind the counter are really cute.

We see things the same, and we see them differently but we have never clashed. He's always jetting off to some exotic location, but don't expect me to travel with him, he has the worst luck! To friendship, to enthusiasm, to a glass half full.

Veels geluk met jou verjaarsdag maaitjie!

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#To #Petra. #A #Birthday #Tribute.

We were sitting outside on the porch enjoying the sun when this little girl, not more than 17 or so, skipped past us. She was holding a tiny puppy in her arms and I shouted out for her to come over so that I could see the dog. The girl was Petra, the dog was Ruby. A friendship slowly started. I work from home and there would be days that I would walk past the front door, that was always open in the summer, to find Petra and Ruby sitting outside on our step. Waiting for someone to appear. One night I opened the door to find a jar sitting there with the words "Eat me" on a post-it note. I wasn't sure if someone wanted me dead or not; turns out Petra was trying to feed us.

She's been stalking us ever since.

Petra enjoys the things that we love most, our dogs, good food (boy can she eat) and wine, and travel. And we have experienced all three with her over the past almost-decade. We have tried out amazing restaurants together, spent days at the park or the beach and visited Costa Rica, Chicago, Mexico and South Africa together. 

I have survived her laugh, falling asleep at the dinner table and her driving. We have laughed, a lot. She's a friend, she's beautiful, stylish and she always smiles. 

Happy Birthday Petra

(I'm not wearing a tie. Tsst.)

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To Cherise. A Birthday Tribute.

Once upon a time there was a girl who lived in a flat in Glenhazel (I think) who was friendly with a boy from school. That boy met another boy with the same name and they became boyfriends. The boy introduced the boy with the same name to the girl. This was in 1992. They've been friends ever since.

The boy with the same name went to hang out at the girl's place. She lived with her sister (I think) and she had a dressing table in the lounge. The boy thought that was a little weird. The girl was a waitress at the Black Steer in Yeoville.  The boy was impressed, because the girl had her own credit card. She seemed to be quite grown up.

The girl decided to go to school and study computers and make something of herself. The boy knew she would be successful even though the girl always said she was not clever enough. Little did she know that she would become quite an expert in her field (to her constant denial) and a strong woman very much in control of her life and her future. The boy always admired that about her.

For a while the girl disappeared. She had gone to live in London. This made the boy sad.

He found a way to get her back many years later, by giving her cell phone number to his mother.

The girl and the boy have a friendship that spans more than 20 years. Through these years they have grown, shared, nourished, flourished, loved, cried, lived, lost. It is important to the boy to have people in his life to whom he can say "remember when?". The girl remembers. He does too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STINKY POO POO HEAD

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To Olga. A Birthday Tribute.

One word comes to mind when I think of Olga and that is dependable. I know that it doesn't matter where she is, or what she is doing; if I need something, Olga will do it for me.

Our friendship started through Keith, and the more that they started spending time together, the more that I got to love her. She is a free spirit, a strong woman, a caring and loving friend. She will give you the shirt off her back, and her room in her house. I know she's done that. 

In 2010 Keith was turning 50 and I had planned a surprise trip to Amsterdam. I knew that he would like nothing better than to see Olga and of course she said she would meet us. Keith and I flew from Toronto to Chicago and after getting him settled in the lounge I met Olga and she followed me back to where we were sitting. She just sat down in front of him, he looked at her and you could see his brain was trying to compute but computer said No. It took about 5 seconds before he realized that his best friend was sitting right in front of him. It was a priceless moment.

One of my favorite memories is seeing Olga drive past in her little black car, with this huge Boerbull sitting in the back. All you could see was Diesel's head staring out the window. He was a beautiful gentle giant.

Thank you for years of friendship, we don't speak often and we are far away but when I need you, your voice is there. I love you. I don't know anyone that doesn't.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLGARINA!

P.S. Remember what I said about you at the beginning of this post? I'm still waiting for copies of that TV show ;-)

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To Traci. A Birthday Tribute.

I honestly don't remember when we first met. My earliest memory of Traci is at her townhouse, her green car, checking out her living stuff and realizing that her neighbour and I were old friends. I think it was around the time that she and Ken were deciding on living together.  I can say for sure that we all approved. There are so many stories I could tell, so many moments and memories that I sit here struggling to write them all down.

If you look at our Facebook profiles you will see she has listed us as siblings. Traci has called me her brother for as long as I have known her. And treated me as good as my sister did when she was alive. 

Leaving South Africa was tough for so many reasons, but one of the hardest things we had to do was say goodbye to Ken and Traci. Not a week went by that we didn't see each other and when you move across continents and time zones it is not always easy to keep the connection. But despite the distance, there is always that moment when a silly email pops up in my inbox, or my phone beeps with a hello or a funny (rude) pic (at 3am) to remind me that she's not far away. 

Traci is the purest soul I know. She is kind, and beautiful, gentle and warm. I love her stories, her gestures, her mannerisms, her laugh. She has comforted me in crisis and she has walked with me when the world was speeding by and I needed to go slow. 

Happy Birthday Traci. You are truly loved. 

 

 42.69

To Mitch. A Birthday Tribute.

It must have been sometime in 2012 when I was walking my dogs through Cabbagetown that I happened by a guy walking his puppy. I know that we stopped to say hi because I had Tyson and wanted to start getting him socialized. Also, that's what you do in Cabbagetown. The encounter didn't last very long. Thereafter we would see that guy again but when he saw us approaching would cross to the other side of the road. Or stare straight ahead as we walked by. I was flabbergasted that anyone would not want to stop and relish in the enjoyment of an encounter with me and my dogs. I thought he was rude. He didn't even notice, he was busy training his own dog. Neither of us knew that before long we would be fast friends. 

Or that Keith and I would try to sell his house when he and Mima were on vacation.

It must be an age thing but I don't know these days how many of my friendships started. The people in my life are there, and feel like they always have been. The communication slowly improved through frequent encounters at Riverdale. Turned out the guy was actually pretty friendly. Soon we progressed from Maggie and Tyson's dads to Mitch and Lawrence. Before he knew it Keith was cooking dinner for a bunch of strangers and not long after we were brunching Sundays at the Hop. 

I have always joked loudly about not liking kids and when Mitch announced his intention on becoming a dad I threatened un-friending on Facebook. But I fell in love with his daughter. Who wouldn't?

Mitch is a solid guy. He's a good friend. He's my movie buddy. His door is always open and beer and food are always available. Chances are you would struggle to find yourself a nicer guy.

Happy Birthday dude.

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To Stephan. A Birthday Tribute.

I've always traveled, both for work and pleasure. It must have been around 2004 when Keith told me to check out a friend of his' new guest house in Cape Town. I was used to hotels, having only stayed at a guest house once before and so with trepidation I booked myself in on my next monthly visit.

18 on Crox, named for its address at 18 Croxteth Rd, was newly opened and soon became my home away from home. I don't remember actually meeting Stephan and his partner Andrew for the first time, I am sure that we behaved with absolute professional courtesy. For about a minute. And I never stayed anywhere else again when I visited Cape Town.

Before long we were friends. I looked forward to every trip. My room was always ready for me, licorice and sour gums at the side of the bed, berry juice in the fridge. I would leave for work in the morning with ready-made protein shake in hand following a pot of fresh coffee. I would return from work and hang out in Stephan and Andrew's bedroom, with their dog Misha, usually eating something but always drinking. They worked incredibly hard to make the most beautiful, stylish guest house that was loved by anyone that stayed there.

Keith and I were so incredibly honoured to be a part of their marriage ceremony in 2006. We have all since move on; Keith and I to Canada and Stephan and Andrew to Spain. It's been a while since the four of us hung out together, but we are always in contact. Stephan is a beautiful man, who always makes me laugh, calls me affectionate names and sends me inappropriate messages.

I miss you, I miss the easy conversation, lying on your bed gossiping, talking for hours and moaning about our weight.

Happy Birthday my friend. May this year bring you only joy, happiness and health. And hopefully in the very near future a chance for a proper in-person hug.  I love you.
 
42.67

To Tracy. A Birthday Tribute.

Yesterday I wrote about not having anything to say, and today I not only had an idea for a post, but it also happens to be a birthday and that requires a tribute!

I don't know how long I've known Tracy for. I know that my dad was alive when we used to visit them in Johannesburg so it's way more than 30 years. My mother claimed that Tracy's dad was a cousin but I called him Uncle Farnol. Tracy's mom knew my dad's first wife Pearl who I previously wrote about. They were best friends. We go back a very long way.

For a few years we lived in a small town about two hours north of Johannesburg. When we visited we would often stay at Tracy's house. We loved it there! Tracy and her sister used to spend time with us, play games, and if I remember correctly we ate Nutella which we couldn't get in Pietersburg.

We drifted in and out of each other's lives. Tracy and her sister were older than us and I am sure that at some point we became those annoying young kids who weren't much fun to be around. I do remember once looking at her sister and boyfriend and thinking "wow, they sure are cool". Later on during University I remember hanging out with her (pic below at Uncle Farnol's birthday) and then life happened, and I emigrated and we lost touch. A few years ago we connected on Facebook; I think it was through a mutual friend. It was a surprise to see her name pop up and one of us messaged the other. We have since spent time catching up via email/message.

Happy Birthday Tracy. We may not be of blood, but you are family. I love you and I wish you the healthiest, happiest year ahead!

(P.S. Yes Mandy - if you are reading this, that's your waistcoat. Yes I stole it).

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To Tracey. A Birthday Tribute.

I remember the first day I met you. I was living in that rented house in Norwood and had a bunch of people over for a braai. Neil brought you along. I think it was love at first sight though initially we were a little weary of each other. I don't quite remember how the friendship blossomed, because it feels like there has never been a time that we weren't friends.

When I try to think of the best memories, my favorite moments, the things I want to write about, my mind floods and I can't stop the slideshow to be able to write about them all. There are a lifetime of them.

In one of my darkest moments, you packed your bags and flew with me to Plett to get away from everything. We snuck in to the Beacon Isle every day and marinated under the sun in tanning oil (much to Carla's dismay). My favorite part was sitting on the roof outside our bedroom after everyone had gone to sleep, smoking, chatting and looking at the sky.

 

I remember lazy Sunday afternoons at your place watching movies, snuggling under blankets and playing with Nala and Simba.

Ah, the days of the Token Date. If I remember correctly this was a work function, I have a memory of us standing outside smoking something other than a cigarette. I may be wrong. Remember that New Years at your house, ice cream and the picture in the bathroom......

Always did love a good SCREW.....

And your laugh.......

Your love......

 Your friendship.........

 Your support......

The quiet moments.......

 And don't forget.....
- (free) burgers at the Multichoice canteen,
- hanging out with your family in Boston, rushing to the train and eating my peanut butter snacks before I even got back to my hotel,
- hucking on the phone for hours,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL

I love and cherish our friendship and am grateful to know that you are always there

42.51

To Hamlet. A Birthday Tribute.

When I was in Std 9, or what would be considered Grade 11,  I wrote the following poem that was published in the annual school yearbook. On the occasion of your 3rd birthday I dedicate this second Shakespearean publication to you. Happy Birthday Hammy!

To pee or not to pee, - that is the question:
Whether 'tis problems of the bladder to suffer
Or the pain of stones in the kidneys,
Or maybe to take help from a group of Urologists,
Who by treating pains end them? - To sleep, to suffer,
No more, and by a sleep to say we end
The pain and the thousand natural ills
The flesh is heir to 'tis a Cystoscopy
Devoutly to be wish'd. To end - to sleep;
To sleep! perchance to dream: ay, there's the doctor
For in that sleep of anaesthesia what dreams may come.
When with his sharp knife an incision he makes,
Must let him look: there's the stone
That for so long did block the pipe;
And who could've bore the pain and anguish of obstruction?
The surgeon's deftness the stone's release,
The pangs of despised surgery - my worries ended,
The fair surgeon! - Genius in all your incisions
Be all your operations remember'd!

42.46

To Coral. A birthday tribute.

In continuation of my birthday posts I wish one of my oldest friends the happiest of birthdays! 

I haven't seen Corrie-pop in a long time but luckily we have a Facebook connection so I always know what she's up to. According to Facebook I am also her grandfather. Coral is one of those people that I have watched grow up. When I was young and pretty and at University I became friendly with Coral's mom Gaby. Coral must have been around 5 at the time. She lived with her mom, my ex-boyfriend Laurence and another friend Lauren. It was the ultimate commune. 

We had so much fun there, I have incredible memories of long lazy dinners (especially charred peppers on the stove) and stories that can never be put in writing. Gaby/Lauren, if you are reading this then I refer you to a certain note posted on the fridge that contained warnings with respect to a child and a strainer. 

Coral, you always were a bright, strong, determined kid. I loved having you around. You grew up to become an ever better woman. You got your independence and your spirit from your mom. I wish you hundreds of years of health and love. 

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