One Year On

I arrived in Toronto one year ago today. I remember speaking to people that had emigrated and they warned me that it would not easy. I was told to be patient, that my sense of values and morals in the South African context would take time to change and adapt to a more liberal Canadian one, that it could take up to three or four years for me to settle down and feel at home. How wrong they were!

I have always wanted to live in Canada. Something drew me here. Every time I came to visit I felt like this was home, not South Africa. I felt like I belonged here. My friends got tired of me saying that I was going to live in Canada. Nobody believed that I would actually do it. But I did, and boy does it feel good.

September was a rush and it felt like any other business trip. Thank god for Lisa who gave me her apartment in the very plush Yorkville. I arrived in style. A week later I was off to Russia and India on business. Before I left a dog bit me.

Keith and the dogs arrived in October and so did the first snow. The dogs loved it. We spent the next few weeks searching for a home and it was a crazy time. At first we were so disappointed in what we could afford but then we started seeing places that we liked and so the negotiations began. After looking at 64 houses, and losing two we finally had an offer accepted on Ontario Street in Cabbagetown. Little did we know how much that decision would affect our lives.

We moved in November and it was so good to have all our things from South Africa in their rightful place in our home. It gave us the stability we needed. We felt at home. We met our neighbours that day and within days they invited us to spend Christmas with them.

Doreen came to visit in December and we spent New Years together. I got my drivers license even though it was snowing like crazy that day. The three-month reality that I had been warned about hit and I realized that I was not in South Africa anymore and I missed my friends. I started to romanticize South Africa yet I knew that I didn’t want to go back. I was not in any way unhappy; I was lonely. Of course I had Keith and the dogs, but I am a social guy and I need people around me. Working from home wasn’t helping.

In January I flew to New York to surprise my niece and I reconnected with an old friend from South Africa. We carried on settling into our home and life, and Keith started renovating our house. We started meeting the people on the street and started going out. We were slowly making friends.

February brought heartbreak with news of the death of my sister. Within hours of hearing I was on a plane back to South Africa. My friends rallied around me and the week spent in Johannesburg is a blur. I didn’t have to lift a finger and for that I am eternally grateful. The love and friendship I experienced from people all over the world made me realize how lucky I am. Being in Johannesburg was awful and I couldn’t wait to come home.

March brought the promise of Spring but the cold lingered. It was a long month yet the winter had not been that bad. We had actually enjoyed it.

April was STILL cold! I started running.

Neil and Olga arrived in May. What a treat to have them come and spend time with us. Neil shopped, and shopped, and then shopped a little more. He also did some shopping. We explored, we ate, and we rode our bikes. Neil shopped.

June and July were beautiful months; warm days and nights that seemed to go on forever. We started sitting out on the front porch in the afternoons drinking wine and eating cheese and neighbours would join us. It became a regular thing and people would stop and talk to us and some even asked what they had to do to join the club. Would it be the same had we have bought on another street? I visited Germany and Holland. I fell in love with Amsterdam. I visited Merle, Sid and the twins in Vancouver.

We went back to South Africa in August. This time it was partly for work and partly for fun. We surprised our friends and family and it was so wonderful being with them. It was like we never left; yet it didn’t feel like home anymore. There is no doubt that we will never go back. I saw Nicki in San Francisco. It was so good to connect.

It’s September now. It gets dark earlier and there is a chill in the morning air. We have an amazing circle of friends here; some that feel like we have known them forever. I marvel at the thought that if we had never come here, we would never have met them. And that would just be tragic.

We are happy. We are content. Keith and my relationship has only strengthened. We just celebrated 5 years together. We are free and safe. We walk our dogs through the neighbourhood and in the parks. We ride bikes and take the subway.

I just read this to Keith. He told me to wrap it up. Im done.