I
consider myself lucky that I look back on my childhood and smile; a lot of people
don’t. I loved high school and I don’t ever recall it being bad. There were
occasional moments that one could today call bullying but it was part of
growing up, and though I personally feel the term is possibly over-used today
it was a different world. If we were naughty we were sent to the Principal’s
office for “6 of the best” and despite it, I am no worse off, having proudly
showed off the welts to my friends. Our parents didn’t ask us how we felt, or
reason with us in the permissive way that I’ve seen kids treated today; we were
told in no uncertain terms the how and the what; we grew up in the remnants of
a “kids should be seen and not heard” environment mixed with “find out who you
are”. In a recent heated discussion with friends I found myself saying “wait
till you are 40” and “life was simpler in my day” and I believe it. I also said
“you will say the same thing when you get to my age”. No doubt my mother said
that same thing at some point in her life.
When
you get to my age you have a 40-year history of friendships (I know, it’s an
obvious fact). These include people that I have known since the start; many
that I met along the way and some that are relatively new (again, not that much
different to anyone else). They all bring some kind of meaning to my life. They
are all vitally important to me because I am a social soul.
The
nature of us being South African is that many of us are spread out across the
globe. Many local Torontonian friends I have today still hang out with people
they met at school or University. I remember feeling a pang of jealousy one day
when a friend said that he had spent the day with people he had known for 15
years. The nice thing about technology today is that email, texts and Facebook
help to make people feel closer and we likely know more about each others day
now than we did when growing up, albeit our lives are probably not as exciting
as Facebook makes them out to be.
I’m
at a medical conference in San Francisco and yesterday I spent a few hours with
a high school friend I first met in 1988. The cliché applied; I got into her car at the
airport and it was like we had seen each other yesterday rather than the god-knows-how-many-years since we last hugged in person. She hasn’t changed much, and hearing that
familiar laugh from so long ago instantly made me feel at home. We polished off
a bottle of white, ate delicious food and we laughed the guttural loud kind
that makes people at nearby tables look up. We reminisced, remembered moments
we had forgotten, told each other secrets, I admitted the school crush and she
ruined one of my fantasies.
Life
moves fast, things happen, days pass, we get wrapped up in what we do. We
forget. That’s normal. But we also remember, when these short moments come
around, and they fill me with such warmth, they renew my soul, and they feel so
goddamn good. Thanks for taking the time
out of a busy day, from errands and chores and 4 children. Thanks for sitting in the sun with me. I’ll
be back for more.
