Anything we love, that loves us in return, never dies: A tribute to Dexter

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

In February 2002, a little guy called Dexter came into my life. I grew up with Boxers and always wanted another one but University living and then working my way into a career wasn't very conducive to having a pet.  Finally I had a home and a big enough garden and decided it was time for my very own Boxer. Little did I know the bond that would be formed with him.

It's amazing how quickly time flies and how much you forget. I guess that living in the moment (a good thing) means that you don't necessarily need to dwell on the past so it is only now, that Dexter is gone, that I find myself consumed by memories and in going through the thousands of photos and videos I have of him I realize how much I had forgotten.

Dexter, a brindle Boxer (whose registered name was actually Royce Ambach's Aleksii) came from the Tanyati line of Boxers, who are still being bred today. One look at any of the Tanyati Boxers and the resemblance is immediate. He was named after the main cartoon character from Dexter's Lab because he was a quirky little guy, with an active imagination, boundless energy and a happy face. The name was quite appropriate. Anybody who knows Boxers understand their boundless energy and a constant need to lick everything. You would often find Dexter standing beside me happily licking my jeans without a care in the world nor any intention of stopping. I constantly walked around the house with a huge wet patch on my pants due to excessive Boxer love.

In the beginning, life for Dexter was much like that of any dog in South Africa. In the mornings I put him and his sister Jessie (another Boxer who joined us a year after Dexter) outside and I went to work. The two of them had the run of the garden and a very large water bowl (we call it a swimming pool) during the day and when I went out at night. I taught them to sit on the step at the front door when I was driving into or out of the driveway until the gate had closed and they were very good at that. After a while, the sound of the gate opening would result in two Boxers sitting patiently on the front step. At night though, they would both sleep indoors and Dexter would climb under the duvet with me and curl up against my legs. Once fully grown he was a big boy and I am not ashamed to say that there were times that we spooned. Dexter loved being warm and his favorite thing would be to curl up and be covered with a blanket or fully stretched out on the couch.

A few months later I moved into a house that had a cottage on the property and my sister and her husband moved in. For a few years my mom stayed with us too. Later, I would work from home and still do today. This meant, that from a young age, our dogs were hardly ever left alone for more than a few hours; they always had some form of human company at home with them.  And we were, for the better part of every day, with them.

In 2004 I met Keith and with him came Troy, our Golden Retriever. That completed the family. And that's how it's been ever since.

In 2008 Dexter hurt his back leg and couldn't put any pressure on it. He had torn a cruciate ligament in his knee which is common in dogs and needed surgery to repair it. This involved breaking the leg, inserting a metal plate and screws and months of restricted movement and care. He healed well, just in time to make the trip from South Africa to Canada to his new home. Dexter loved living in Canada, there was lots of snow, squirrels and great long walks that we didn't typically do in South Africa.

Keith even taught him to walk off-leash, as long as he carried it himself.

Because of the pressure he had put on his good leg while the affected one healed, the second cruciate tore in 2010. this is also pretty common and Dexter had a second surgery to repair the other leg. Again he healed well but he was always plagued with arthritis that didn't particularly seem to bother him especially when a squirrel was in sight.

About a month ago Dexter starting exhibiting strange symptoms, circling, tilting his head, vomiting, and we took him to the vet who thought he had a vestibular syndrome which is like a middle ear infection. When that didn't get better we did blood tests and found that his thyroid was very low which seemed to explain all the symptoms. After two weeks of thyroid treatment he was no better. By this time Dexter was struggling to stand up or walk, he would spend most of his day lying in his bed next to me or on the floor, I would help him walk or carry him and at night I would sleep on the floor next to him so that when he tried to move and couldn't, I was there to help him. Through all of this he kept his happy face, wagging his tail when I walked into the room, eating as though there were no tomorrow and always licking my hand or the bed. In my mind, he would get better so that we could explore stem cell therapy that I wanted to do on his arthritic legs.  Last Friday morning we woke up early and I carried him outside and then back in again. I knew that when I took him to see the vet that morning that he wouldn't come home and I sobbed as he snored in my lap. I took a video of him sleeping so that I would never forget that beautiful sound. We took him to see the neurologist who did a bunch of tests and said that it was most likely that Dexter had a brain tumor that was causing the symptoms and that we were suddenly catapulted into a moment when a "decision" needed to be made. Nobody ever wants to hear those words; how the hell do you just decide? There was no way that I could let him go without knowing for sure if the problem was benign and treatable so we scheduled an MRI for the next day.

On Saturday morning we fetched Dexter from the vet. We had left him there because he was getting dehydrated. He had had a good night, and stood up on his own to go out. We drove to the MRI centre and were early so we walked on the grass and lay beside each other for a while. He seemed better, he was still struggling with his legs but he was walking. Keith and I gave him lots of love and he happily licked my hand. The MRI took about an hour and images were sent via email to the neurologist who called me to confirm the diagnosis. My little boy, my best friend, my dester-malester had a tumour that was pressing down on his brain and spinal cord. The thing I feared the most was right in front of me. I knew that to wake him up would be for me, to subject him to surgery or treatment would be so that I could have him next to me just a little longer,  doing nothing would mean a quick progression that could include pain and suffering. So the choice we made was for him. We let him go, and we sobbed as we stood next to him rubbing his tummy and stroking his beautiful, soft face as we said goodbye.

The devastation I feel right now can only be described as big as the love I felt for Dexter. He was my shadow, he went where I went. He was outside the shower door when I climbed out, he got up when I did, and 40kg of Dexter slept curled up on my lap every night in front of the television. There are no words to describe the loss that I feel without his immense presence. He was a big dog, a gentle giant with an incredible soul.

In my moments of grief I have beat myself up about my decision, but I know that I did the right thing and that this guilt stems only from the fact that I desperately miss him and want him to still be here. But that would mean that he would be here without the ability to walk around freely or go outside. He would be here for my company only and that is not why we share our lives with our animals. In a way, the fact that he was already asleep is probably a blessing, rather than have to wait for the day, or decide which one, to take him back to the vet.

Though it's only been a few days I am starting to feel better. I know deep down inside that everything is OK and the way it's mean to be.  


There will never be another Dexter, but there will be others. I could not imagine my life without a (Boxer) dog in it.

There is a video on my Facebook page that embodies all that Dexter was. Take a moment to watch it, make sure you see the end, it's worth it.

Dexter 

I thank you for 10 and a half years of unwavering love, slobbery kisses, comfort in hard times, a pillow on the hard floor, excitement when I got home, someone to miss when I was away and a million things more. A part of me died when you died but that's OK, because that part was always yours. I will never be the same; I am better for having you.